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The 7th House

the last temptation is the greatest treason

1/8/06 06:35 am

malicious absurdist returns..

i am loose with my vraighting.
vants mor into the breech my frends vants mor.

It was I.

I was once quoted as saying

"Why do our relatives, the animals, not exhibit any cultural struggle? We do not know."

page eighty three.

having been married for an undefined period of time to a conspiracy theorist with fins and an inclination toward mind expanding foul smelling ground up latin roots, you can understand if i hesitate a moment before switching the ilghtbulb off before I sleep.

8/10/05 02:35 am

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8/1/05 10:37 pm - The Archives

Nostalgia corner:

The Nature of Betrayal
Originally entitled "How the hell are ya, Midtown Drugs? and the nightmare."
From a journal entry, January 25th, 2004.
Excerpted for impure purposes August 1st, 2005.


"I had a good dream finally. Finally. After that horrible serial killer dream. I talked to someone and they said I shouldn't watch so much scary movies. But I don't. I don't like them. Never really watch them. The dream was, I was watching a movie, some really good movie, but it was intercut with really horrendous and sickening practices of a Gein-like serial killer. In overalls, with a chainsaw too. doing the unmentionable with people and beasts. But the point is, the dream, as I see it, was not ABOUT fearing a horror movie. It was about betrayal. Because firstly, the great movie, intercut by the horrors kept making me want to watch and then kept changing and scaring the shit outa me. That's #1. Then there's what happened with the killer. I watched it, and his face was Nick Nolte's face. And I had this moment of thinking "Thank God! Nick, my friend, I know you, you're just an actor, like me, you wouldn't kill me, you're playing a part!" But then it changed, and it wasn't him anymore. And he lifted his chainsaw and screamed something in a voice that I've never heard before and will likely never recover from hearing. It was inhuman, The voice of madness. He screamed something along the lines of what Madman Mundt screamed in Barton Fink: "Look upon me! I'll show you the life of the mind!" And I shut my eyes and put my hands over my ears, but I could still SEE and HEAR him. The day after this dream, I couldn't look into any television anywhere, paranoid as I was. Thank God there's no TV in this apartment, otherwise I'd unconsciously throw it out the window. so this nightmare takes the #2 spot on my list of alltime worst nightmares. The first was a really sick one. I can't describe it here because it's way too sick to describe. I've only told it to one person and then they were in shock for an hour. So I will not recount it. except that it had to do with Henri Matisse. And also with television. I guess in a way it was also about betrayal. cause see, in the dream, Matisse had a studio and it was run by servants and then they rebelled. Mutinied. But I won't say what they did for reasons of conscience and respect towards others."

8/1/05 05:25 pm - Time is like a Blender.

By unpopular demand [the only way to run things, ELEVEN letter word starts with a c and ends with an s], I think I'm going to publish my Nightmare.
It is entitled, smartly...

My Date With William S. Burroughs, Tom Hick/Hack

But you need your.. special secret decoder ring to get into the clubhouse for this one.

8/1/05 01:36 am - a very indispensible man once said

one violent death yields more energy than a cancer ward.

7/23/05 12:03 am - i ate about half a jar of nutmeg about 4 hours ago, so I don't give a shit...

And this is what Happens... just lines. do you see the lines?

at the wrong adress
break down and start weeping
hand me a shovel
hand me the shovel
shoot me with your KNIFE
and you can dream
and it has been a really great thing for me
I have administered the early drug
it has been done
and she was so beautiful
and she somewhere still must be so beautiful
and everything remains
the forgotten broken grasshoppers
we lost the war
we know
we know when to shuffle
and how
and how!
You need to go gather
your skirts
know lonesome
know coyote
howl like a psychopath
I still won't come near
I told you once before

Did you know that all I want is confirmation of the feelings I have being valued by at least one other person on this planet? I bet you didn't, so I have to go on with this crap about grasshoppers and germans and maybe even orson welles.
MY EYES are LIZARDS of DON JUAN
and like my old poem -
they sleep.




.

7/18/05 01:54 pm

what a terrible painting
what an ugly vase and bear trap
for a brain
that fools none

fools none
makes none dread the wrath of its snapping
on other heads
like in the films
in the cinemars

i have seen

and such glee
over one insignificant body i'd like to see rotting in a ditch
O countryside
caress and rape the ripeness of my stolen vowels
and with your paws tread the soft deadish sand
in even pairs for science
because science is working on a new way to

I have seen you carefully crawling up your own ass to do algebra
you don't like my civilization?
My socks by your bed?
I disgust you? You let yourself be disgusted too easily.
I don't like your "British u's"
that's not your lot
you're from a wartorn state
and nothing but a fool
a silly silly...
deleted expletive
to dig up and wear like a puppet

i was punching the wall
just thinking of you



.

7/14/05 11:27 am - dead frame

Did you know
I have bones
and it costs 11 dollars
to peruse the Ripley's museum
with casual...

there are titties in the sunflower painting
the telemarketers call
they take their RGB cow to telemarket
and You
you thought the Floor was creaking.

Blink signals to me in cinematic violence
not forks and knives please
source of possible ignition
high temperatures
a joke
a naughty

a naughty word
a pantoon
a Goldberg's fat ass
on a low paying
low satisfying
job of brooklyn machismo
in the hall
on the wall
on the hill
with dots.

..........$xx.xx

and so what?
dog and boat.
The one with the goat, the fox, the...
chickens and the old man
never could figure that one out.

7/11/05 04:52 am

aphids are unsavory characters
that's for sure.

7/11/05 03:28 am - white night

just like thatCollapse )

7/11/05 03:20 am - i make them

hammer it out honeyCollapse )

7/11/05 02:10 am

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Two Dead Pheasants

7/10/05 02:15 am

i'm only walking over there because i have
music in my shoes

hello
hello
this is the disembodied voice speaking
may i ask who's listening?


what's wrong with you you fat FUCK
stop eating
every time you want to eat
think of eating a baby
little trick I learned in the service.

He walked in on me taking a piss
to ask the exact location of nebraska.
Midwest. Up top.
who have you been talking to?

7/9/05 07:41 pm - what happens to me after I watch the Lawrence Welk show is this complete disengagement from everyone

what happens to me after I watch the Lawrence Welk show is this complete disengagement from everyone else in this rathouse.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU.
It takes a certain kind of grace.


compound forms:


longevity is in jars

eternal youth
fountain of youth
secure residential youth development complex
the youth
youth club
youth group
youth hostel

les personnes les moins avancées en âge dans la société

engage your thoughts
refer to the books

too yoots were standing by the water fountain
who says to which one and is the other
- how about no more confucian questions
and sparrow poses
no more sparrow poses
we know you Take Heart!
in the clumping powers of your cat litter

it's not bottomless
your pool of hate
and your alone discriminated dregs of society label
it draws trucks for the shooting
but it is not bottomless
yet you count without even fingers
for it on the wall

eventually
fresh air blackens the daintiest elbows
and likewise...
I shouldn't have to tell you again.

7/9/05 05:47 pm

somehow the clap seems too screwy an interest to be included in the agenda of the
Jacksonville Singles Connection....

7/9/05 01:21 am - You betcha

I have a strong weakness for Indian girls and... historically innocent tail in general.

I've just got a kinda "gimme a chance" feeling.
Like a dog.


Lupus hog.

7/8/05 10:39 pm

I need to re-read some of that Dostoevsky.
Bottles.
Sometimes you need to re-read Dostoevsky.

I'm not really a huge fan. That is something you couldn't possibly understand.
I used to be. This looks like it does.

That's all there is to it.

7/8/05 10:35 pm

who believes in the faithful wife?
You gotta make sure the conspirator GETS IT.
Did anybody call?
No, no, nobody called.

wasted time.
I could be gaining weight.

This event of my infested brain
is a comedy of manners
and the French have their Hand
in it.

You know I don't have a telephone
and the rocks don't grow
how could you say they GROW?
They're dead.

Didn't your mother ever tell you
that you have to trust other people's hands with your own face?

You know I shall be released into a moot Renaissance play
but yet I have no dinner.
Did you run out of "rhubarb" and dead birds?
What did I install those goddamn baths for?

You know I don't have a telephone.
I swear to you, if it wasn't for the children...

Now you pay old women for your own beatings
and I have to lock my door with 6 locks, it is so noisy.
did anybody call?
no, no, nobody called.

7/8/05 10:33 pm - Somebody has got the Time

Time stopped going by
and it fell asleep in your bag of lube and condoms
and you offered me to smell it
and said your friends would take to me instantly
but you didn't even know what my favorite color was
[and it is after all so obvious]
just like your girlfriend
you are just like your girlfriend

I'm putting on some music baby
to cover up that smell

please clarify your intentions
don't tell me again
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
and give me reason to believe
that the bedsheets on your form are made of steel

you are not the little Pilgrim
you can walk away and be forgotten
and I am sure I can do that too
but I don't believe it
and I get nervous

You know I don't say "baby"
to anybody
but if you get me drunk

I could have swore a month ago I saw you
in a secular newspaper on the outskirts of town
masturbating with a large pink canister
of RAID roach killing spray

Hunt for survivors

I'm not going to mention
guns and razors and knives and needles
and pills and self-mutilation and hospital leave
and anal sex just to spite you

I really feel happy right now
This is mine - do you believe it?
It's attached and I can show you if you want to see
yet I still manage to walk

one of god's little miracles

and it doesn't compare to one of your
little deaths

les petits morts
les petits morts
not mots
vou
you are wrong
and you have to eat them now
as opposed to watching black and white movies with me in bed
we must have punishment -
it shows caring

that's something that lopsided haired dykes don't understand
punishment shows caring

put in a good word for the last word
without having to spell things out

don't give me that crap
I don't even own a tie

leave me out of your orgy of bad dentistry
bring your boyfriends from PR and your architects
from the Robert Moses Bronx Center of Decency
and lay them out
side by side
in that huge rotten ship
of a slave trade you've got between those swollen legs

I have to smile
because I made the choice to
and as we speak I am taking in large amounts of traveling papers
and getting far far away from your starving tattooed park bench

I'm draining off the rainwater and filling my head with such thoughts
that would see you through a lethal overdose
of "sodium pentathol" [sic]
and out to lunch
on a cigarette raft to Madrid
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